I fear not doing what I love more than I fear the fact that I will fail at it. – Amerika B.
On this day, 4 years ago, I embarked on a journey to Jacksonville, Florida. I didn’t know what was in store because moving really wasn’t my decision. God placed me here. I was all out of options in Miami, Florida and God said to me, “It’s you and me.” Granted, I did have assistance from friends and family to get here and helped me along the way, but the fact of the matter was that I was too dependent on everything but God and myself.
At the time, I wasn’t big on announcing drastic life changes because I didn’t want to share my struggle. Mainly because I didn’t want people to ask questions I didn’t have the answer to; mostly because I was living in fear. Yes, it was a leap of faith, but I was still scared straight. Close friends and family knew but everyone else found out because I would casually post pictures on my social and add my location as if nothing changed. Eventually, a few people asked me if I moved and I explained the situation but that was the extent of it.
In those four years, I have grown tremendously in my faith and focus. The ultimate reason I survived this long was my decision to be obedient and trust God, his timing, his faithfulness, and his purpose for my life. Fast forward to this year about two months ago to another test of faith. I was sitting in my grey cubicle and the walls were closing in on me. God said “It’s time to go.” I had to make the decision to resign from my job. I was certain that I hated being in a grey cubicle all day and the fact that as a creative I felt trapped and uninspired, but it really boiled down to my mental health being at stake. I was unhappy, anxious, and stressed. Every. Single. Day.
I AM a full-time entrepreneur. A full-time fashion stylist and blogger. Whoo chile, the confirmation. I finally said it out loud. Yes, while writing this. I really stepped out on faith. Actually, I jumped. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t know what I wanted to do. It was that I was afraid. Scared as heck to trust God and myself. Sis, how are you ok with trusting an unstable job for a check every two weeks, but you can’t trust God and yourself to finance your dream and life? Tuh. That’s when reality set in.
I truly love and appreciate everyone who has supported me from the beginning, anyone new to ABSM, and those who will continue to support me. This is a big step for me to expose myself (lawd I’m “neekid on the innanets”) and bare my truth. But I know someone out there will hear, see, feel this. Someone out there who was just as scared as me and keeps getting all the signs to go for it. So I’m here to tell you to GO FOR IT!
Am I still scared? Yep. Terrified most days. Yesterday was a bad day. Matter of fact, this week wasn’t so great; but I choose to embrace the good and the bad. I know every day won’t be peachy. On the days I feel like I have a negative mindset, I learned to fight back with grit and grace.
So what am I doing with myself these days? A lot. I’m really focusing on revamping my brand. Working on numerous ways share my gift and focus on God, goals, and the grind aka doing what I’m good at and living in my purpose. Things are a bit rough right now and I don’t have it all figured out but that won’t stop me. And don’t worry, I’m going to share and highlight the good and bad days. Even if I have to post and run away. I’d rather you know more of the real REAL than the glossy bossy life.
Just in case you don’t know, I am a fashion stylist and lifestyle blogger and I am the creator and owner of Amerika B. Style Me. My services include Personal Styling, Fashion Styling, and Product Styling.
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Thank you for reading this post and supporting me on my journey. I am thankful for you all!
*Edit: I never really introduced myself on my blog, I just started writing and jumped right in. I was going to change the name of this post but I left it so you can see my growth. My first blog post was random. I had to learn how to incorporate styling and blogging into one site. I like the imperfectness of it all. I hope you enjoyed.